Laughingus fishius
by happy molecule
Summary: Legolas becomes a hairdresser. (Co-written with A Class Superior!)
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Well this is another crazy fic from the bored mind of me.  Co-written by "A class superior".  All her bits are in _italics.  Oh, and they make a LOT more sense._

Disclaimer: I don't own lotr *sob*, but I can still do this! *runs up to Orlando Bloom, kicks him in the shin and runs away, laughing hysterically*

_Hello, hello, I'm here to tell you about my life…as you probably know, I went with the fellowship on a veeeeeeeery dangerous mission- to DESTROY the ring.  What you probably don't know is that on the trip, I REALLY messed up my hair…..I mean the journey messed up my hair.  Of course, I brought a brush along, but Aragorn wanted to see what it was and used it to brush HIS hair.  You and I both know that it wouldn't have been strong enough for that.  And it broke._

_Ah, all that looooooooooooooooong time without my hairbrush.  The cold weather, the harsh terrain, oh, how I wished I had neat hair.  But that just wasn't reality.  _

_Imagine how glad I was when the long journey was over- and also how shocked I was when I took a look at myself in the mirror.  I was FILTHY.  My hair was all tangled.  And I'll admit that I had a good cry. _Then I fell over and realised that I had hair growing out of my knees.  And it was filthy tooooooooooooooooo!!  Well this totally depressed me, so I went searching for someone to cheer me up.  The first person I saw was Aragorn.  And he STILL had my hairbrush stuck in his hair.  So of course I started laughing hysterically.  I mean, the man had a HAIRBRUSH stuck in his hair!  How was I supposed to know that all elves suffered from "laughingus fishius"?!  So then I turned into a fish coz I was laughing too much.  And so now I'm swimming in the fish pond, wishing there was a universally spoken fish language so I could ask the way to the nearest clinic-I mean hairdressers.

_But at that time, a fish came up to me and spoke to me in elvish!  _OMG!  An elvish me!  _Actually, the fish was really Arwen and she got laughingus fishius as well!  She laughed because her father's paints fell down.  I don't see what's so funny about that._

_Anyway, she told me there was a hairdresser's nearby.  _YAY!  Well that was lucky because all this water was making my hair go all mouldy.  So I swam to the hairdressers and got my hair all normalised. :)!  And then I saw a poster on the wall asking for new hairdressers.  Well I figured I should do my bit for the fish community and help the poor people who are not as privileged with hair skills as I.  _So I went up to the front desk and asked about the job.  The veeeeeery pretty lady fish (though not as pretty as me) said that I could take it.  YAY!  I was so excited all my hairs were sticking up!_


	2. the second part

Well today's my first day at my new hairdressing job.  I'm so happy! :)!  Now to wait for my first customer……ah ha!  Here comes someone now!  It's _Aragorn!  Oh no!  He wants his hair done but I can't do it- no, I just can't do his hair.  I'd faint before I'm half a metre away from him.  I'm telling you, HE STINKS!  Even Gimli smells better._

_      But he's really set on getting his hair done.  He says that Arwen won't give him cheese with chocolate sprinkles and tomato sauce and raw chickens if he has messy hair.  _Sweet Valar, what will I do?!  Do I do my best friend's hair and save his love life; or do I stay smelling beautiful?!  Why must I be faced with such hard decisions on my first day?!  Now he's offering to change me back into an elf if I do his hair.  Fine………..

            Oh god, his hair smells like raw, hairy chickens!  And that's not tops.

_Not tops at all._

_            Can't-get-this-brush-through. Argh!  It broke!  My best brush. _

_ Note to self: never do Aragorn's hair again._

Note to self: must remember notes to self

Note to self: Don't call us, we'll call you

_Maybe I should just stop and tell Aragorn that his hair is not workable.  Yeah!  _

_But then….I might get fired… _:(  Well maybe if I washed his first, it wouldn't be so stuffed!  

            Am now attempting to cleanse the filth from the hair of Aragorn.  Frankly, this is the most disgusting job ever!  Has this guy ever washed his hair?!

            I just asked him.  He looked at me totally confusedly.  You have got to be kidding!  Maybe I should explain this concept to him.

            Well I did try.  But I got to the word "clean" and he ran away screaming.  Well, at least I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  __


End file.
